Learning to talk about how you are different without turning people off may mean that your needs actually start getting met… Trying is a skill.

“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.” One of my favorite quotes happens to be on tact: Learning how and when to acknowledge your own intelligence instead of sidestepping the subject can be incredibly important, and sometimes this means learning how to talk about it tactfully. Be more like everyone else, but don’t you dare address how you are different. Bright people who have internalized this message may go far out of their way not to talk about a fundamental difference that often contributes to difficulties in a number of areas. You are different enough for it to be potentially problematic, but you are not allowed to acknowledge how you are different because to do so would be self-aggrandizing. People with high IQs are outliers, and outliers are often a more difficult fit in many respects because the world is not made for them. Because much of the world sees intelligence as a good thing, talking about it seems braggadocios, which is incredibly problematic. This is the message that brilliant people receive from the world. At times it can be pretty heartbreaking, and these are a few things that I wish I could tell all gifted young adults (as well as the people in their lives). In my practice, I have been able to observe and experience how the world treats young adults with superior intelligence. I wish them well, and what follows is not about them. There may be people with high IQs who have an easy time in life relationships are simple, work and school are a breeze, and they long ago addressed the existentialist questions that some of us might carry with us until the very end. Reprinted with permission from the author. Here are a few things he would like to tell them (as well as the people in their lives). In this article, Samuel Kohlenberg, LPC, discusses his observations and experiences with profoundly gifted students and young adults.

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